Still missing you…
January 20th, 2007
I wish you could know how greatly you are missed. On this day especially, but really it’s been every day. I wish you could know how sorry we are that we were too busy looking elsewhere to see you hurting. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will never forgive themselves for their inaction. The world could really use your spirit right now. Although I know it’s still around in other forms, I see it every now and then in random moments of nature’s beauty. Not just the sky, but the earth and the water that goes between both. And the city skyline on the drive home when the sunset hits the buildings.
What can we possibly learn from this awful and shattering pain?
We can keep trying to remember that we are never alone. None of us, at any time, though we often feel otherwise. There are 8 billion souls walking this earth and no reason to feel we cannot talk to any one of them. As Maya Angelou says, “we are more alike, than we are unalike” so our differences should never make us hesitate to connect with someone.
We can take your spirit and perspective into everything we do and all that we encounter. We can remember to be humble and appreciate the simple but true things in life, like music, friends, and talking over coffee.
We can remember your smile and laughter when we’re having a bad day.
We can remember the endless list of selfless things you did for us all. Like the time you tried to fix my flat tire but couldn’t get the bolts off so we sat in your truck eating chinese food (that you bought for me) until AAA came.
We can easily remember the hours of service you did, and all the sweat and heart that went into every project. When we were all tired and ready to call it a day, you kept going so we had no choice but to keep going too. And in doing service you taught us how to be leaders. The Care Force project you asked me to join resulted in the first time I felt confident in my ability to lead others.
Most importantly, we can learn that life is now. It’s already here. There is no planning, waiting, saving up for, putting off ’til later. You want to do something, do it, quit making excuses. Don’t not do something because you have to work the next day, f—k work. Don’t not do something for fear of what others will think. Be true to yourself, you are the only one you have to answer to. Don’t be silent on things that matter. Speak your mind. Be yourself. Right now. LIFE is life. Today is today, the one and only.
These are just the things I’m taking away from my short time knowing you. And I wasn’t even a really close friend so I can’t imagine what others have gotten from knowing you. We are all forever changed, I’m sure.